Black, black and more black and then there was Iva. It comes as no surprise that at the recent “Sound Relief” concert every artist and his dog came out to play. It was a music fans feast, Cold Play, Jett, Hoodoo Gurus, Split Enz, Ice House, Midnight Oil and the list goes on and on, and apparently so does wearing black. First up in the “black” uniform was Johnny “The Voice” Farnham in Sydney, counter balanced with Jett’s black wearing performance in Melbourne at the same time.
Now I know better than anyone the perils of wearing white – hence why I don’t, and I know it certainly has obvious downfalls of attiring oneself in such a dastardly colour. The biggest issues of wearing white are food stains, dirt stains, umm stains and well more stains but the biggest peril of it is; how fucking huge your arse will look in a pair of ill fitting white duds. So of course I sympathize with the likes of Johnny “You’ve put on a bid of podge” Farnham” I mean let’s face it if you are over 60 and can apply for an old age pension then you have a free ticket to wear black as far as I’m concerned. Though Johnny I ask you “Black on Black?” I mean you would have thought a coloured shirt had never been invented. So throughout the entire day in two fair cities artists hid behind the all and mighty power force that kept Johnny Cash in business for years. You may be asking right now “So Coyote what’s your beef you wear more black than the man in black ever did?”
Well having been to plenty an outdoor spectacular including U2 among others I have noticed an alarming trend for artists performing at large outdoor arenas to slip into their Sunday best - black. I paid good money to see Bono mince on stage at Telstra Stadium wearing black surrounded by an entire back drop of black stage, black speakers and black wearing band mates. What a joy to pay through the nose to see a spec, a black blob and watch a show fade into a black hole. So my point is this, “Wear Fucking White”. Like I said I understand the physical pain of seeing once arse widened by at least ten fold but the only person who had the good sense to wear white at Sound Relief was the love of my Australian music life – Iva Davies from Icehouse. Yes his arse may have looked wider – mind you it didn’t, but I’m sure those who paid to see the show could have at least seen something up on stage even if Iva did resemble an iceberg at least you could see something. So thankyou Iva from the tail end of my huge white arse.
2 comments:
Have you read a book called Fanclub: It's a Fan's World - Pop Stars Just Live in it? There is an insane Michael Jackson fan who recommends wearing white if you are in the audience, in case the singer wants to pull people out of the audience. If you are in white clothes, they will see you and you have a better chance of being chosen to go on stage.
You know when you are a redhead the unfortunate fact is there is no need to wear white or any other colour that stands you out from the crowd. If I go to anything that is live from a shopping centre give away to a rock concert and they say they are going to grap someone from the audience I just get up and start heading toward the stage because they always pick the Ranga who can be spotted with that blazing hair from the moon. Hence why I always seem to win things. Still it would be handy if Dave Gahan should pluck me from an audience but then hell will probably freeze over before that happens. In the meantime I will seek out the book it looks like a good read.
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