Hey I'm back - this one is a quickie, literally, but I knew the title would evoke emotion, if not to get you to turn away from your screen. The reason for my outburst, well frankly Lou Reed likes to think he is the be all and end all when it comes to being "alternative". Put simply he has not had a hit in over twenty years and the only place anyone ever hears of him is on WSFM and that is bad enough. Velvet Underground Who? Would be the general response from anyone under the age of 40.
I mean yes he wrote "Walk on the wild side" but nobody ever listens to the lyrics because if they did they would have banned the song long ago on radio and we would have been saved from then having to endure Lou's take on everything slightly left of centre. So why the rant on poor dear old Lou. Well every time he is interviewed he acts like he is wanting to slash his wrists, that the perils of being on "artist" are so hard to bare that he can and will refuse to be anything but tortured.
Personally I think he needs to look to toward the one true god of "alternative" and there is only one - David Bowie. Yeah Yeah Yeah Lou you were part of the New York underground scene, blah blah fucking blah, so was Joey Ramone but you didn't see him acting like a spoilt brat. So I come to the end of this blog to inform you that I just read that dear old Lou and his zimmer frame will be greeting us in May for the Vivid Live Festival at the Opera House, Reed as I have read will be "playing improvised soundscapes described as an endurance test of noise" inspired by the infamous 1975 album Metal Machine Music.
Oh please stab me repeatedly with a fucking pitch fork to the side of my head as this is a better alternative and a possible real test of my endurance to see how much blood would piss from my head as opposed to the blood which would piss from my ears if I were forced to listen to Lou do anything "improvised". Is this for real - Oh yes indeedy it is my friends. Hopefully it will be free because if you paid for this trite I guess you get what you deserve. Perhaps a nice big sign with the fab line "But she never lost her head, even when she was giving head" would be appropriate in my blood spurting due to head wound script glory. Or maybe not.
