Today I had two great laughs at people who made fabulous comments. The first was someone unknown and unseen to me. Whilst I was trying to squeeze my now fuck off huge arse into anything that might fit me in a change room at K-Mart I overheard two girls in the cubicle adjacent to mine come out with the following conversation.
(Girl 1) “Oh my god like is that a like Chanel handbag”
(Girl 2) “Like yes it is”
Pause………
(Girl 1) “God like do you think like this is like too tight on me”
(Girl 2) “Like it doesn’t matter if it like stretchs like its only $12.99 anyway?”
As far as I’m concerned that was pure gold and I wanted to as the younglings say ROLF but at that very moment I was too busy counting the dimples on my arse from the view I had of them via a three way change room mirror complete with fluoro lighting.
The second comment came via the most lovely girl in my university class, she should be the poster girl for Byron Bay what with being very brown and very beautiful and emitting a certain sense of knowing and intelligence rarely seen in many under 25’s these days I believe the NSW tourist commission should snap her up immediately to promote the place. I mean if she makes her own vegetable soap and lives in a tepee which I am yet to ask if she does then the local minister for tourism needs to get hold of her straight away because the locals could be swimming in the revenue she could raise.
As a side note she in no way resembles Lynda Wolstenholme the second coming, although Lynda mark II was as usual full of questions tonight but no where near as on fire as previous occasions perhaps the heat had effected her but during the break the conversation with Miss Lord Byron went something akin to this; (Ed. Like my English literature reference to Lord Byron I am getting cleverer huh)
(Me) “You have heard of Live Aid you know it was in the 80’s before you were born”
(Miss Lord Byron) “Yes I watched the video”
So there you have it, not a DVD but a video. I guess I should be grateful she didn’t say it was viewed via a Beta version.
Note On K-Mart Shopping: Look I can afford to shop at more pricey boutiques but we all remember the last time I ventured into one and was forced to be cut out of an outfit with a pair of scissors by a sneering shop assistant who knew I knew I would never have fit into it. Damn near dislocated my fucking arm. So the fact is until I stop eating junk food and walk back in the door to crunchie fitness centre – see previous post about them – I aint never going to fit into nufin but a sad old K-Mart Moo Moo. I know, I know if Fergie can do it so can I but I probably have till the child is 2 in March to keep up the old “I just had a baby” line before I really have to hit that gym….Oh and you know I will have to start because its Rome in July and god knows the Italians will never let me off the tarmac with a dress size higher than a 12 cause it just aint fashionita enough for em.
(Girl 1) “Oh my god like is that a like Chanel handbag”
(Girl 2) “Like yes it is”
Pause………
(Girl 1) “God like do you think like this is like too tight on me”
(Girl 2) “Like it doesn’t matter if it like stretchs like its only $12.99 anyway?”
As far as I’m concerned that was pure gold and I wanted to as the younglings say ROLF but at that very moment I was too busy counting the dimples on my arse from the view I had of them via a three way change room mirror complete with fluoro lighting.
The second comment came via the most lovely girl in my university class, she should be the poster girl for Byron Bay what with being very brown and very beautiful and emitting a certain sense of knowing and intelligence rarely seen in many under 25’s these days I believe the NSW tourist commission should snap her up immediately to promote the place. I mean if she makes her own vegetable soap and lives in a tepee which I am yet to ask if she does then the local minister for tourism needs to get hold of her straight away because the locals could be swimming in the revenue she could raise.
As a side note she in no way resembles Lynda Wolstenholme the second coming, although Lynda mark II was as usual full of questions tonight but no where near as on fire as previous occasions perhaps the heat had effected her but during the break the conversation with Miss Lord Byron went something akin to this; (Ed. Like my English literature reference to Lord Byron I am getting cleverer huh)
(Me) “You have heard of Live Aid you know it was in the 80’s before you were born”
(Miss Lord Byron) “Yes I watched the video”
So there you have it, not a DVD but a video. I guess I should be grateful she didn’t say it was viewed via a Beta version.
Note On K-Mart Shopping: Look I can afford to shop at more pricey boutiques but we all remember the last time I ventured into one and was forced to be cut out of an outfit with a pair of scissors by a sneering shop assistant who knew I knew I would never have fit into it. Damn near dislocated my fucking arm. So the fact is until I stop eating junk food and walk back in the door to crunchie fitness centre – see previous post about them – I aint never going to fit into nufin but a sad old K-Mart Moo Moo. I know, I know if Fergie can do it so can I but I probably have till the child is 2 in March to keep up the old “I just had a baby” line before I really have to hit that gym….Oh and you know I will have to start because its Rome in July and god knows the Italians will never let me off the tarmac with a dress size higher than a 12 cause it just aint fashionita enough for em.
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