There is a Lynda Wolstenholme in every class.

When I was at school there was a girl I was teamed with from year 10 through to 11 for home science practicals, her name was Lynda Wolstenholme. I would arrive at our class unprepared, no apron, and if I did have it then I had not washed it from our last class and it was caked with food, I never had a pen, no notes and no idea of what we were going to do that lesson. Lynda on the other hand had clearly spend the evening before starching and pressing her apron, taken diligent notes from the last class and prepared a list of things "to do" during our practical lesson. The thing which always struck me was her complete lack of not being able to think on her feet. If she wasn't properly guided by the teacher and her "notes" she would literally spin out of control, ending up a red faced cry baby with her head in her hands with the teacher patting her back. Of course it upset Lynda no end that I was unprepared and would always get a higher mark in all aspects of the course than her. On one occasion she begged me to come to her house and "study" before one of our major practical exams. Frankly I knew if you mix flour and water you get glue, but my humour was always lost on her. So reluctantly I went to her house. I was stunned to see her perfect bedroom with its perfect folders chock full of notes for every subject with perfect legibility and easy access. Of course my note taking consisted of writing shit down when I felt like it if I happened to scab a pen of someone and then there was the problem of finding a piece of paper. At then end of year 12 I knew Lynda would go onto University, study something completely useless, then get married young and spit a few kids, and never work a day in her life outside the family home. Correct on all fronts as far as her life plan was concerned so much so I should have written it down for her. So it comes as no surprise today that there is a girl in my course at Uni who is another Lynda knock off. At 36 I still have not lost the want to analyze her level of intelligence to question her on the various aspects of the "study matter", and just see how far I can push, like I used to with Lynda. But. I also remember Lynda's mother. An alcoholic who clearly terrorized her and made her feel worthless. So this could be my opportunity to redeem myself and actually offer the Lynda in my course a few helpful tips. Relax being the first. Who knows perhaps one day she might even end up lending me a pen.