(Above: Me, shitting myself, at the Vatican - Roma! - Just so you can see what scared looks like. Of course I wasn't scared until I looked down from the top of the dome of the Basilica turns out its fucken higher than I anticipated)This time last year I was sitting watching television when I put my hand up to my neck for a moment. It was then that I realised that I had a honking huge lump in my neck. Two in fact. Fuck this can't be good I thought. Perhaps it could be hormones?, umm no, perhaps you idiot it will be cancer. I sat literally thinking, fucken hell how didn't I feel this before. So I called my GP explained the situation and "Come straight in " was her reply. Hoping for a friendly face and a yes its only your glands and go home explanation I was struck as she said. "Yes more tests for you and no I have no idea what it is" Oh Fuck this can't be good. I didn't hang about and got more blood tests. The next step was an ultrasound. I went in hoping again to have a friendly face tell me it would all be okay. How about no. How about yes we can do an ultrasound but if you have cancer we won't be able to tell and we will have to do a nuclear scan. Great. So ultrasound done and yes they couldn't tell what it was, next step, nuclear. So off I trot to find out the real deal. I was warned that if they suspected cancer they would biopsy on the spot. Yay!. So I layed on the table with the scanning machine hanging over me like the proverbial dark cloud. Oh Fuck this can't be good. After the scan I sat in the waiting room, shaking. I am too young for this, yes I know I say I have had a great run but I am not in the mood for this right now. They call me in. You are okay, no cancer came the stone cold reply. Oh Fuck that is good. So I came home to a teary best friend Jodie who was here to greet me good or indifferent. We did some crying and I breathed a sigh of relive. I won't forget this experience it scared the shit out of me. Perhaps one day I will experience it again, perhaps not. I take advantage of each day and I know that I did before this happened but it just shows me yet again that if you don't then something can always come along and bite you on the arse.
P.S The Title refers to an advertisement from the 1980's watch it and weep.
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