You know I remember a time when the only classy thing that ever happened in Blacktown was well, umm, nothing. That's right nothing. Class is something Blacktown didn't have a lot of. That is until Westfields came to town and changed everything for the local "Westies". Yes that's right, "Westies", not "Bogans" that is Melbournian terminology which has been adopted into our Sydney vernacular by those Prada wearing, cafe latte sipping, Mercedes 4WD driving Mexicans who have never lived in the Western Suburbs of Sydney and only purport to know the truth of what a truly localised Westie really was. Frankly a "Westie" was a flannelet wearing hoon, who drove a rather large car, had their name - "Waaaayyynnneee" screetched at them by a girl named "Raylene" and attended Blue Light Disco's pissed on Passion Pop and yelled as loud as possible the lyrics "Head Suck" to the Radiators. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bkKb3KEda0 all done whilst diligently trying to not spew up the meat pie with sauce consumed for dinner at the Doonside Hotel.
So after many years of reformation in Blacktown, thanks largely to the ever corporate responsible Westfields the people of Blacktown will finally have their "day" of culture tomorrow. Yes that's right, that "ye olde" violinist pin up boy with the sympathetic to Blacktown mullet will tread the boards of the illustrious Westpoint Blacktown Shopping Centre stage. Though I guess Andre will be selling many copies of his CD's, DVD's, boardgames, lunch boxes, and lookalike dolls I bet the real reason he is performing at Westpoint is to no doubt brag to his friends and marvel at gracing the stage of such spectacular past stars who have gone before him like, Nikki Webster, The cast of YTT, and of course Santa.
So for a suburb so rarely known as the capital of culture with a C, Blacktown it would seem may finally be able to wash away their Kulture with a K status and start afresh when Andre takes to the stage to rid them of the sins of Radiators past. Like a baptism from the fires of hell its amazing how when you once said you thought it would never happen "until hell froze over" that Blacktwon would one day become culture central then one only needs to rug up and head to Blacktown Westpoint at 2pm tomorrow to watch the icicles form upon the worst haircut in showbiz and the penguins slide on in as Mr Andre Rier does his best to inject some much needed culture into a town so deserved.
So after many years of reformation in Blacktown, thanks largely to the ever corporate responsible Westfields the people of Blacktown will finally have their "day" of culture tomorrow. Yes that's right, that "ye olde" violinist pin up boy with the sympathetic to Blacktown mullet will tread the boards of the illustrious Westpoint Blacktown Shopping Centre stage. Though I guess Andre will be selling many copies of his CD's, DVD's, boardgames, lunch boxes, and lookalike dolls I bet the real reason he is performing at Westpoint is to no doubt brag to his friends and marvel at gracing the stage of such spectacular past stars who have gone before him like, Nikki Webster, The cast of YTT, and of course Santa.
So for a suburb so rarely known as the capital of culture with a C, Blacktown it would seem may finally be able to wash away their Kulture with a K status and start afresh when Andre takes to the stage to rid them of the sins of Radiators past. Like a baptism from the fires of hell its amazing how when you once said you thought it would never happen "until hell froze over" that Blacktwon would one day become culture central then one only needs to rug up and head to Blacktown Westpoint at 2pm tomorrow to watch the icicles form upon the worst haircut in showbiz and the penguins slide on in as Mr Andre Rier does his best to inject some much needed culture into a town so deserved.
3 comments:
There is, sadly, a flaw in your argument. That Andre represents "Culture..."
Kulcha I'd agree with...
Poor Blacktown. They do love their Chrissy Decs though! And their Somali's. And Phillipino's. And Hillsong is close by...
Westpoint Blacktown has a stage?
No, seriously, they have a stage?
Where? In the carpark?
First of all please let me protest about the use of the name "Wayne" as your westie or now that I am 500 metres away from being a Bloody Victorian say Bogan example.
While myself always living life as a westie (and now so far west I am almost a south Australian) I have never had a girlfriend named Raylene and never owned a Holden/Torana. I do not consider mayself as uncultured especially when it commes to music while Yes I dont like to "head bang" with the best of them I do also like music that would get most westies saying WTF ie Bjork, Black Keys and dare I say DM.
Though I must say I would not turn down my cassete player in my big ford which is blasting out a highly distorted Metalica/Radiators/Rose Tatoo just so that I can hear some Andre Rier emenating out of a white Camry driven by all white wearing wrinkled retirees or some middle aged try hard driving the Ford Territory/BMW with an over extened lease.
So on behalf of all the non Torana driving, flanny wearing, bong smoking, RIP Bon Scott Waynes out there I say Please leave us alone and use the ,Shanes of this world a hammering as I believe they are more worthy of the status.
By all means Andre should go to good ol Blacktown but I believe if he truly wants to survive the experience and would like to have an audience depart happily afterwards for the local RSL bingo meat tray, he should change his stage name o Andy Roo and carry a good Rolf Harris special wobble board and maybe even play the VB box.
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