I Never Thought I Would See The Day

Here are the two most unlikely travellers of all time. Nikki on the right and Renee on the left, both sisters, both never been anywhere and both going on the trip of a life time. I usually nowadays don't go and see people off at the airport as the novelty has worn off, generally due to the car parking prices and the fact that a trip overseas is not that spectacular to me anymore, been there done that. But in the case of Nikki and Renee I made the exception. In fact when they went through the departures gate I nearly cried. Nearly. Not for me I cried but for them, the excitement and the wonderment of a first adventure. They left last Friday for Canada to meet up with the most adventurous of their family, their younger sister Marcy, who has lived in Canada with her husband for two years. I am so blown away to see them both travel because they are so totally and unashamedly blue collar Australian's. They have probably never thought to travel before, or it wasn't high on the priority list of things to do, if they even have a list of things to do. The bottom line is when they venture into the U.S as they are planning on doing an American hearing Renee or Nikki's very guttural Australian accent are quite frankly going to shit themselves, I know I do. Add to this the fact that neither of them has really ventured outside of NSW, been on a long plane trip or experienced life outside of Parrmatta and my favourite thing is Nikki's absolute panic if she has to drive into the city on her own and they are up for the trip of a lifetime. I can't wait for their return to see how they liked it but I fear there response might be "What a pack a moles, callin thongs undies" Of course I wait in anticipation.

Techno Phobe

The mother in law "m.i.l" is staying at the moment, I do love her, but if she asks me one more time how to use the t.v remote
I'M GOING TO SELF HARM......

No Nana In Sight

She failed to show up again tonight. I don't blame her the topic was essay writing. Having written for so many years to the dance of my own tune I am now going to be wielded in like a runaway brumby into a strict equestrian riding maneuver kicking and screaming. The art of essay writing. In a nutshell I am fucked. I can't remember any of the rules because I hate rules when writing. I am the quintessential unconventional conventionist. Though I am going to have sit down and remember what the hell a verb, noun and simile are all about or I will never get into that higher seat of learning I so desire.

All Those Years Ago

Here I am, all of 17 in Hyde Park. This photo was taken by my friend Stuart. I got Stuart to take a succession of photos of me in a vain attempt to give to my ex-boyfriend at the time. It was meant to be something to remind him of me after he dumped me for someone else. Kind of like this is what you are missing. Fool that I was. It didn't work of course. Stupidity like that never does, but at 17 you seem to think it will end like a Barbara Cartland novel. Sadly that is also not true. Still I am glad I have these photos they are truly lovely and reflective of a time in my life when I struggled to know who I was. Its nice to look back and know I finally found out when I never thought I would.

I saw the ghost of W.H Auden at North Parramatta McDonalds

Today whilst sitting in North Parramatta McDonald's I noticed two well dressed elderly gentlemen sitting across from my table. When I first glanced over I instantly thought one of them had an uncanny resemblance to my favorite English poet W.H Auden. Oh how I love W.H Auden, I can recite his poem's and I have vowed if my next born is a boy then he will be named Lawson Auden, Lawson after Henry and Auden after W.H. I then spend the rest of my lunch staring like a school girl at the ghost of W.H Auden chowing down on a Big Mac. I guessed W.H Auden would have been horrified at the thought of himself sitting in a western suburbs fast food outlet since he was a well refined gay English gentlemen who lectured at Oxford. Still he may have seen the funny side of it. He would have also perhaps seen the funny side of the fact I was ultimately kicked out of my 3u English class in the final term of year 12 leading up to the all mighty unforgiving Higher School Certificate on account of his poetry. I found the class I was put in rather annoying as it consisted of six girls, who were all stupid, though apparently we were the top class and they had not a notion of what Auden was portraying in his wonderfully written poetry. They would sit attentively hanging on every word our English master had to say, mainly because he would interpret for them the meaning and linguistic challenges which we all knew they had no chance of deciphering. So after putting up for the last time with them flicking through their dictionaries to find the meaning of words in the poetry I could stand it no more when the best possible word sprang from the page. The poem was "Moon Landing" the line, "It's natural the Boys should whoop it up for so huge a phallic triumph." I sat back as they madly started to look up the word phallic. I waited for a murmur, but it didn't come, I looked as I saw blank expression after blank expression and not being able to take it a moment longer I said to them all "Its a huge cock, ladies" With that I was escorted from the class by the English master and told my comments would no longer be required as was my presence in the class and I would have to study the reminder of the course on my own, which is exactly what I did. At the completion of the year I went to hand in my text books to the old English master when he surprised me by asking me what I was planning on doing with my life. I told him I wanted to write a book. He sneered at me. There was awkward silence. I then said to him, "Yes and I'm going to dedicate it to you." He seemed pleased. I then said "Oh yes and I am also going to dedicate it to the other ladies in my class who probably still don't know what a phallic symbol is but they sure do know how to suck on one." With that he turned on his heel and fled to the staff room.

Get Gothed Up - Under the Blue Moon Festival Saturday 4th October 2008

As you can see every year for the past few years I get gothed up to give a lecture at the festival, Under The Blue Moon. This year is no different. I am giving my lecture at the same venue as always "Simplicity Funerals" Enmore Road, Enmore. I will be on at 4.20pm. My topic this year, "More Murder and Mayhem in Sydney Town." kind of a follow on from last year since it went down well and nobody got up and left before I finished. Always a good indication you are interesting the crowd with what you have to say. So for more information the website is

http://www.underthebluemoon.org.au/

Of course the theme as always with the festival is "an ideal time to do something you've never done before"

Attendance of course is mandatory, as is getting gothed up, corsets and formal wear are optional.

National Trust Photography Competition circa 2006

In 2006 I went on a National Trust tour of the White Bay Power Station. I also thought I might enter a string of photos into their inaugural photo competition. I lost. Here is one of my failed entries. Oh and I thought I was so clever but a rusty old shed is always going to be a rusty old shed. Why am I sharing this with you, well I am yet to drive past the old White Bay Hotel which burned to the ground a few weeks ago but no doubt it won't be long until someone "accidentally" drops a ciggy in amongst this additional prime real estate. I never thought I would have a passion for our industrial past but I have learnt over the past few years through touring a lot of industrial sites through the National Trust and through industrial art work that there is life after work.