Lara Who Is Blue!

I think if I hear one more story about Lara Bingle I am going to scream in fact I will scream so loud they will hear me on the moon or at least in Russia. Frankly we are all aware that she is a nobody but be that as it may she still managed to get onto the news yet again tonight despite the fact she dumped poor old Maxxy Markson today - umm who is kidding who on that front good work Max you publicity guru you. So tonight we were told she is telling anyone who cares, and that appears to be the general public, that she only has three friends and is lonely after breaking up with her boyfriend. Well my dear all I can say is boo fucking who. Frankly who hasn't been lonely at least once and if you have a face and an arse as pretty as ye olde Bingle then you really have nothing to complain about. If you can't get out and get yourself a few more friends and a new BF as they say then running to the six o'clock news ain't going to get you friends. Paying for a few might though. I am always horrified at how non news worthy stories get to air. Of course channel 9 then backed up the Bingle story with the fact that Bono is turning 50 today. Now I am a massive Bono fan but him turning 50 and Lara only having 3 friends does not news make.

So in honour of what news should be I hope the Gen Y's at channel 9 can be called upon to see what happened in 1985 when Bob Geldof turned on the "news" and saw what was happening in Ethopia and tried to do something to help. It gave U2 their finest moment, bad leather pants and all. So if you have never seen this concert footage imagine how amazing it was in 1985 and how it impressed upon me the importance of what "real" news reporting can and should be about how a news story changed the world in 1985 though regrettably not forever. So Bingle join RSVP and Channel 9 think about what is really important in news reporting.

Ciao Magazine

I was recently interviewed for "Ciao" magazine. The interviewer was not particularly good and I had to really struggle to get what avenue she was taking the story in. Turns out a "swinging" direction. Although the swingers article is boxed in the middle of the "goth" article it is rather disconcerting. Oh well such is life. As for kids being vampires as if I would know I haven't been out of the house after 6pm for years let alone in the middle of the night. So my take on being a teenage vampire is slightly skewed since I have absolutely no fucking idea. Still parents would not be thrilled by their kiddies taking on this subculture and as for that I guess it is interesting, still so is sitting in a "huge jacuzzi" at the "lotus club" apparently!!!!!! Eeekkkkk

Suddenly 38!

Firstly let me apologise for my last post - "Get Thee To A Nunnery" I was in fact testing my blog and accidentally posted it - it meant nothing it wasn't a cryptic crossword on my count it was merely me trying to work out how to add a web address or photo as I was able to do it easily and then it all got too difficult so please just disregard it as codswallop.

So I am going to be 38 in a few weeks. I feel as though I am finally catching up to the way I have always felt in my mind, more mature than my actual age. Last night I caught a little of the movie, Suddenly 30. It got me to thinking about what I would change if I were to go back to when I was 13 years old and it was an easy answer - nothing. Of course I would buy shares in Microsoft, patent the name Goggle and start working on big selling ideas like children's themed birthday parties, and heaven forbid "scrap booking" but mostly I guess I would try and buy up most of Sydney's real estate because that is where the money would be.

Still when it comes to who I was and am personally I wouldn't want to change anything even if I was given the chance. Of course I may want to have the odd kissy poo with a few boys that I missed out on but then would they be privy to that anyway since they weren't the first time around? Who knows but it would be extreme fun to go back with knowledge and the wisdom of maturity and know that no matter the mistakes you were making it would all work out okay in the end.

Still if when I was 13 and was told that I would end up marring "that" guy from school I feel sure I would have died of heart failure and screamed - "What I am not going to marry Dave Gahan get outta here!"

So 38 here I come, I'm not afraid because I have already learnt so much and feel the future is bright - perhaps I should get some shades!

Get Thee To A Nunnery

My Mattia Pasini

I love Mattia Pasini - if you don't know who he is then you should tune in next to the 250cc Moto GP and see my boy ride. He is an Italian Stallion with some serious horse power between his legs. I have been following him for a few seasons and whilst he ain't no Valentino just yet he is trying hard, although today he Spain he had to return to the pits with what I guess is bike trouble. I hope his season gets better mainly so I can see him on the podium as without a place he doesn't tend to get a lot of attention therefore I don't get to see his lovely face. So go Mattia Go!

R.I.P Malcolm I Will Miss You!

I loved Malcolm McLaren - for everything - he was a legend. I will miss him.

Lou Reed's A Cunt!

Hey I'm back - this one is a quickie, literally, but I knew the title would evoke emotion, if not to get you to turn away from your screen. The reason for my outburst, well frankly Lou Reed likes to think he is the be all and end all when it comes to being "alternative". Put simply he has not had a hit in over twenty years and the only place anyone ever hears of him is on WSFM and that is bad enough. Velvet Underground Who? Would be the general response from anyone under the age of 40.

I mean yes he wrote "Walk on the wild side" but nobody ever listens to the lyrics because if they did they would have banned the song long ago on radio and we would have been saved from then having to endure Lou's take on everything slightly left of centre. So why the rant on poor dear old Lou. Well every time he is interviewed he acts like he is wanting to slash his wrists, that the perils of being on "artist" are so hard to bare that he can and will refuse to be anything but tortured.

Personally I think he needs to look to toward the one true god of "alternative" and there is only one - David Bowie. Yeah Yeah Yeah Lou you were part of the New York underground scene, blah blah fucking blah, so was Joey Ramone but you didn't see him acting like a spoilt brat. So I come to the end of this blog to inform you that I just read that dear old Lou and his zimmer frame will be greeting us in May for the Vivid Live Festival at the Opera House, Reed as I have read will be "playing improvised soundscapes described as an endurance test of noise" inspired by the infamous 1975 album Metal Machine Music.

Oh please stab me repeatedly with a fucking pitch fork to the side of my head as this is a better alternative and a possible real test of my endurance to see how much blood would piss from my head as opposed to the blood which would piss from my ears if I were forced to listen to Lou do anything "improvised". Is this for real - Oh yes indeedy it is my friends. Hopefully it will be free because if you paid for this trite I guess you get what you deserve. Perhaps a nice big sign with the fab line "But she never lost her head, even when she was giving head" would be appropriate in my blood spurting due to head wound script glory. Or maybe not.